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Source: Newsbiscuit
The United States today filed for bankruptcy protection following unprececedented write-downs and record losses, becoming the latest in a number of hight profile casualties of the current economic crisis.
The USA sent everyone home at lunchtime yesterday, with no guarantee that outstanding wages would be paid. Previously high powered executives were suddenly facing the prospect of indefinite unemployment. ‘The President is just doing nothing all day – he’s just playing golf or fishing’ said one Washington insider. ‘I’ve never seen him like that before…’ Hopes of any takeover bid looks unlikely and the two much touted successors to the current boss have been doing their utmost to let the other one win the job of taking over. It is thought that the United States had invested in risky assets over the past years, notably a number of oil fields in Iraq that it had been convinced was a safe bet.
Hopes that America might be able to remortgage or seek a short term loan evaporated as it transpired that all the banks had gone bankrupt in the previous week. The country is now expected to sell at least twelve of its fifty states at a knockdown price. Russia has expressed an interest in Alaska, though America may have to buy it back at a loss, while Japan may make an offer for Hawaii.
However there was one small bit of good news for the country this morning, as Kellogg’s launched new Kredit Krunch, ‘the breakfast cereal you can enjoy during global economic meltdown.’
The United States today filed for bankruptcy protection following unprececedented write-downs and record losses, becoming the latest in a number of hight profile casualties of the current economic crisis.
The USA sent everyone home at lunchtime yesterday, with no guarantee that outstanding wages would be paid. Previously high powered executives were suddenly facing the prospect of indefinite unemployment. ‘The President is just doing nothing all day – he’s just playing golf or fishing’ said one Washington insider. ‘I’ve never seen him like that before…’ Hopes of any takeover bid looks unlikely and the two much touted successors to the current boss have been doing their utmost to let the other one win the job of taking over. It is thought that the United States had invested in risky assets over the past years, notably a number of oil fields in Iraq that it had been convinced was a safe bet.
Hopes that America might be able to remortgage or seek a short term loan evaporated as it transpired that all the banks had gone bankrupt in the previous week. The country is now expected to sell at least twelve of its fifty states at a knockdown price. Russia has expressed an interest in Alaska, though America may have to buy it back at a loss, while Japan may make an offer for Hawaii.
However there was one small bit of good news for the country this morning, as Kellogg’s launched new Kredit Krunch, ‘the breakfast cereal you can enjoy during global economic meltdown.’
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