Southern Police Officers

[vetdrem]

>>>>>> THESE ARE
>>>>>> ACTUAL COMMENTS MADE BY SOUTH CAROLINA TROOPERS THAT WERE
>>>>>> TAKEN OFF THEIR CAR VIDEOS:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 1. "You know, stop lights dont come any redder than the one
>>>>>> you just went through."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because theyre new.
>>>>>> Theyll stretch after you wear them a while."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 3. "If you take your hands off the car, Ill make your birth
>>>>>> certificate a worthless document." (My favorite)
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 4. "If you run, youll only go to jail tired."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second because
>>>>>> thats the speed of the bullet thatll be chasing you." (LOVE
>>>>>> IT)
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 6. "You dont know how fast you were going? I guess that
>>>>>> means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
>>>>>> dont think it will help. Oh, did I mention that Im the shift
>>>>>> supervisor?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, Im warning you not
>>>>>> to do that again or Ill give you another ticket."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether
>>>>>> you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
>>>>>> where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn
>>>>>> dogs.
>>>>>> 11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
>>>>>> gets a toaster oven."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (
>>>>>> National Crime Information Center )
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 13. "Just how big were those two beers you say you had?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 14. "No sir, we dont have quotas anymore. We used to, but
>>>>>> now were allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 15. "Im glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a
>>>>>> personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
>>>>>> your bail."
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> AND THE WINNER IS....
>>>>>> 16. "You didnt think we give pretty women tickets? Youre
>>>>>> right, we dont. Sign here."

[Robert Lees]

Re: Southern Police Officers

17. (old one):

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

18.
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severely bleeding.
The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?"
The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."

19.
A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.
He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"
The driver said, "You buyin'?"

etc

etc

[Robert Lees]

Re: Southern Police Officers

17. (old one):

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

18.
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severely bleeding.
The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?"
The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."

19.
A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.
He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"
The driver said, "You buyin'?"

etc

etc