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A Damn Fine Explanation
A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
to a very attractive young woman.
And she was upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you
do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving
you. I want a divorce right away!"
And the husband replied, "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell
you what happened."
"Go ahead," she sobbed," but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began - "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told
me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made
for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw
them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had
for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear
just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the
expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the
same."
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my
understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me
with tears in her eyes and said,
"Please .... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
to a very attractive young woman.
And she was upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you
do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving
you. I want a divorce right away!"
And the husband replied, "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell
you what happened."
"Go ahead," she sobbed," but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began - "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told
me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made
for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw
them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had
for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear
just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the
expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the
same."
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my
understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me
with tears in her eyes and said,
"Please .... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"