TSA stats

[Larry Lyons]

Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security


Terrorist Plots Discovered 0 Transvestites 133
Hernia’s 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3

[M Towsley]

Re: TSA stats

I'm going to retire in 27 days, TSA sounds like it could potentially be a fun job if you could pick out who you were going to screen!

[guns68]

Re: TSA stats

I have not been on a commercial flight in a while, does TSA have Barry White playing in the back ground, along with giving you a kiss on the cheek when they are done? If so I guess the new security screening won't be too bad.

[jim cooper]

Re: TSA stats

I want a special uniform too! Lots of gold braid and a WW1 german helmet with the spike. 4 stars displayed on the helmet and many ribbons of brite colors, (Battle of Buffalo, JFK, etc.) Also, at least two pocket protectors with many pens, slide rule, etc. Once a week, a brass band in the main lobby and I shall conduct it. I also want to be addressed as Chief Inspector! I shall Xray women only, 18-40.JC