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Roping a Deer
Roping A Deer (Names have been removed to protect the stupid!)
>
> Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!
>
> I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
> it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
>
> The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
> since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
> fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and
> sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet
> away), it
> should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its
> head
> (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
>
> I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
>
> The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
> They were not having any of it.
>
> After about 20 min utes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out..
> ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
> threw...my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
> I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
> good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell
> it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
>
> I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on
> the rope
> and then received an education.
>
> The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there
> looking at
> you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start
> pulling on
> that rope.
>
> That deer EXPLODED.
>
> The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
> stronger than
> a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down
> with a rope
> and with some dignity.
>
> A deer-- no chance.
>
> That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
> controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
> my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that
> having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
> originally imagined.
>
> The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
> animals.
>
> A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me
> off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
> minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
> out
> of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for
> corn-fed
> venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that
> rope.
>
> I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
> would
> likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was nolove at
> all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I
> would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
>
> Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
> cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
> large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
> clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
> some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
> didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
> it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had
> set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.
>
> I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
> back.
>
> Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
> have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
> when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
> my wrist.
>
> Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
> they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head
> --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
>
> The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
> draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
> ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
> minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
>
> I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
> now), tricked it.
>
> While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached
> up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
> final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
>
> Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
> their back
> feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and=2 0their hooves are
> surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --
> like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away
> easily, the
> best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
> move
> towards the animal.
>
> This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
>
> This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
> not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
> I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
>
> The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
> that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in
> the back of
> the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides
> being twice
> as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit
> me right in
> the back of the head and knocked me down.
>
> Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
> leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.
> What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while
> you
> are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
>
> I finally managed to crawl=2 0under the truck and the deer went away.
>
> So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
> scope to sort of even the odds.
>
> Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!
>
> I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
> it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
>
> The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
> since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
> fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and
> sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet
> away), it
> should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its
> head
> (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
>
> I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
>
> The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
> They were not having any of it.
>
> After about 20 min utes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out..
> ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
> threw...my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
> I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
> good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell
> it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
>
> I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on
> the rope
> and then received an education.
>
> The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there
> looking at
> you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start
> pulling on
> that rope.
>
> That deer EXPLODED.
>
> The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
> stronger than
> a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down
> with a rope
> and with some dignity.
>
> A deer-- no chance.
>
> That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
> controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
> my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that
> having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
> originally imagined.
>
> The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
> animals.
>
> A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me
> off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
> minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
> out
> of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for
> corn-fed
> venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that
> rope.
>
> I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
> would
> likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was nolove at
> all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I
> would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
>
> Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
> cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
> large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
> clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
> some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
> didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
> it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had
> set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.
>
> I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
> back.
>
> Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
> have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
> when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
> my wrist.
>
> Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
> they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head
> --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
>
> The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
> draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
> ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
> minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
>
> I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
> now), tricked it.
>
> While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached
> up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
> final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
>
> Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
> their back
> feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and=2 0their hooves are
> surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --
> like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away
> easily, the
> best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
> move
> towards the animal.
>
> This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
>
> This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
> not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
> I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
>
> The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
> that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in
> the back of
> the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides
> being twice
> as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit
> me right in
> the back of the head and knocked me down.
>
> Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
> leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.
> What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while
> you
> are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
>
> I finally managed to crawl=2 0under the truck and the deer went away.
>
> So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
> scope to sort of even the odds.
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