My new neighbor

[Larry Lyons]

She's single...
She's good looking...
She lives right across the street.

I can see her house from my living room.
I watched as she got home from work this evening.

I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.
She knocked on my door...

I rushed to open it.

She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this
strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!

Are you busy tonight?"

I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!"

Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?"

It’s no fun being old!!!