Chuck was sitting in an airplane when another passenger took a seat beside him. The new guy was an absolute wreck -- he was pale, his hands were shaking, and he was biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey pal, what's the matter?" Chuck asked. "Oh man ... I've been transferred to Michigan," the other guy answered. "There are crazy people in Michigan, and they have shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, the highest crime rate ..." "Hold on," Chuck interrupted, "I've lived in Michigan all my life, and it is not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school -- and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?" "Me?" said Chuck. "Oh, nothing special. I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck in Dearborn."